how did i know...

I knew from that very first comment,

How it made me smile and thought “of all the things he could have noticed…”

I knew when suddenly I started reading up on your country…

I knew when out of the blue I find myself looking up pretty romantic hindi phrases…

And how I try my best to memorize them 

And pray to god I say them correctly when I tell you..

I knew when I started looking forward to friendly talks with you..

And staying up as late as 4 in the morning

Just talking about nothing and everything ..

I knew when I learned how to activate that conversation history of yahoo..

And, in your absence, just read those conversations over and over 

And actually feel like the conversation is still going on..

I knew when I started to become a Facebook and laptop addict, bringing it with me even to bed..

And the fact that I turn my laptop on even before getting out of bed

Wishing I would see a sweet message from you..

And how a simple message makes my day instantly,

Because it means you were thinking of me too..

I knew when a simple sly remark becomes a “movie”

And how the thought and vision of “shirt white” brings a silly grin to my face..

I knew when you were able to make me smile even when I am in the worst mood ever..

And in the realization that you are the only one who can do that to me..

I knew in every instance that we are amazed to find out that we think the same

And even say the same things at the same time…

And actually feel each others’ touch across the distance..

And I finally knew when I learned how hollow and empty feeling in stomach actually felt like,

And how that searing pain lingered when I thought I lost you..

And how a simple “hug” smiley from you made all those disappeared….

Just that one single smiley..

I knew then, that I need you, cannot be without you…

I love you..

For sure..

Absolutely..

Totally..

Definitely..

Mei tumse pyar karti hu, meri jaan…

(that's hindi meaning "i love you, my life")