i don't want us to be strangers again...

yep, even though we are not, well, together.....i don't want to let you go...
as i have said, i would rather have you as friend than nothing at all...

come whenever...

and let's be friends
...catch up on each others' lives over beer and guac and chips
...people watch while having dinner on the balcony
...go drunk crazy and dance to the music of the band by the pier bar
...be adventurous and dive the antilla ship wreck
...smoke hookah and pretend to be hip and high by the sand bar

come whenever...

and let's be a couple
...talk of life over a romantic sunset dinner by the beach, our toes touching the water
...walk hand in hand on the deserted beach at night
...gaze at the stars and wonder what should  have been and what could have been, and what could still be
...wake up early and watch the sunrise, let the rays of the sun melt our worries away
...be in awe of the gorgeous sunset on a dinner cruise
...and afterwards, make love, as slow as we possibly can, feeling that this might be the last one,....or that it may be the start of something awesome, wonderful, beyond words amazing....

come whenever....and let's just simply have the time of our lives...once more...

this is me, a beautiful mess :)

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
Based on your body language,
Your shouted cursive I've been reading
You're style is quite selective,
Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you can call it fiction
Cause I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words that paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And it's a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like, we are picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are

We're still here

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words in priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it

Jason Mraz - A Beautiful Mess 

one great love...

is the kind of love that changes you...

the one that rocks you to the core...

the one that makes you smile even long after you part ways..

the one that brings that tinge of sadness when you realize it is time to move on...

the one that broke you down when you learned that the person has moved on and has found somebody else....

the one that lifts you up when you realize that despite of the person having moved on, that person still thinks of you somehow....

the one that makes you happy when finally the two of you become friends again....

the one that makes you oh so grateful even if you are just friends...

because that one great love, you would rather have that person as a friend than nothing at all....

because for all you know, you could be that persons' one great love as well....

here's hoping....

this song.....

this is for you, for I know how you are feeling right now...which is pretty much how i felt when i lost you....

Drunk by Ed Sheeran

I wanna be drunk when I wake up
On the right side of the wrong bed
And never an excuse I made up
Tell you the truth I hate
What didn't kill me,
It never made me stronger at all
Love will scar your make up
Lips sticks to me, so now I maybe lean back there
I'm sat here wishing I was sober
I know I'll never hold you like I used to

But a house gets cold when you cut the heating
Without you to hold I'll be freezing
Can't rely on my heart to beat in
'Cause you take parts of it every evening
Take words out of my mouth just from breathing
Replace with phrases like 'when you leaving me? '

Should I? Should I?
Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again, I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love

I wanna hold your heart in both hands
Not watch it fizzle at the bottom of a Coke can
And I got no plans for the weekend, so should we speak then?
Keep it between friends
Though I know you'll never love me like you used to

There maybe other people like us
Who see the flicker of a clipper when they light up
Flames just create us but burns don't heal like before
And you don't hold me anymore

On cold days cold plays out like the band's name
I know I can't heal things with a handshake
You know I can change, as I began saying
You cut me wide open like landscape
Open bottles of beer but never champagne
To applaud you with the sound that my hands make

Should I? Should I?
Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again, I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love

All by myself, I'm here again
All by myself, you know I'll never change
All by myself
All by myself

I'm just drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love

this morning...........

an imaginary conversation i had with you as i was having my usual chai tea...

J : where u off to?
M : work, then burn stress in gym
J : stressed huh?
M : kinda...where you off to?
J : nowhere, beach then more beach, one can never have enough booty watching anyways (with that boyish grin on ur face)
M : naughty you
J : hey I'am a man, and expected to be one
M : whatever...
J : wish you could watch with me
M : whatever, you go and have fun
J : seriously, i wish you would spend the day with me
M : sunday, we'll drive over to zeerovers then to baby beach, you are gonna love it there
J : is it a nude beach?
M : just as expected, you asked that question
J : hey I'm a man....
M : yeah yeah you are a naughty man indeed
J : appealing yes?
M : yes, in every sense of the word

that is how i pictured it to be if you are indeed here....maybe in the future. one can always dream, right?

i can't help but wonder.....

for you to think of me at the same time i am thinking of you...

for you to unknowingly make me smile on those times i feel down...

for you to say the right words even in the absence of a conversation....

for you to miss me as much as i miss you....

for you to ask if ever we will see each other again, the same way this is on my mind every single day...

for you to smile the way i smile when i see a shirt white....

for you to look back on how it all started, and of that beautiful day we finally met...

i cannot help but wonder.....